I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
