yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
