where am i from again
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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