it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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