somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
