My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
