btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
