Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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