I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
