Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
