Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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