didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
