I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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