Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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