erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
