she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
