Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Randomize
