a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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