I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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