Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
