i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
