i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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