i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
