The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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