I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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