I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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