I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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