Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
