the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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