FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
