woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Your penis caused this!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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