I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
we're so committed to being not committed
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
