C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
