Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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