It's like a parade of train wrecks.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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