You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
