yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
