I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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