Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
