Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
