WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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