At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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