It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
