I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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