i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
third nipple confirmed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
