just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
