Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize