I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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