You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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