YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
