I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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