His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize