oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize