Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
