Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
