my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
