If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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